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unicorn poo
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| i'm superficially stressed about both my jobs, but overall pretty happy at the moment.
i do need to be getting more exercise. i've jogged a little bit, been biking a bit, but it's not enough. oh pseudo-winter and your reduced outdoors activity, how you make me feel like a sleepy bear. i keep having urges to go run right when i wake up and it's all sunny outside, but then i succumb to coziness and nestle down under my blankets again. seaballing...!
i have my enhanced id coming in, and i took care of lots of bills recently. i'm gonna get a new bed as soon as i can find someone to drive me back from ikea with it (my shoulder says yay!) and life feels dealable. oh and i'm almost all applied to school. i really need to be doing something other than working. i'm feeling that restless, i'm-more-than-this heaviness to my days.
things are going pretty well with the boy from the US that i'm seeing. we had a pretty heavy talk the other day and made sort of a commitment to be more committed? kind of? i feel a little ludicrous, like george-michael bluth, "we're engaged to be engaged!" but as a couple-y kinda step, i feel a lot better about things between us. it's kind of hard with the distance, and i'd like to see more of him, but at the same time, i kind of like the romance and tension of it, and god knows i like something that forces me to live in my own life and have my own fun and stay active and maintain tons of friendships, as well as even keep my eyes open for people to date here. i think i've come a long way from the girl who moved in with tim right off the bat and then stopped doing shit with anyone else and kind of failed at being motivated. however, it's nice to have a buffer between my romantic/sexual self and regular, real-life cayley. part of the talk was agreeing that we're gonna see each other more, which i'd really like, and soon i can go there, so, yay.
the olympics are soon. i have mixed feelings but what they've boiled down to is: blame VANOC for the shitty debt and impacts within the city. the olympics, and the athletes, and the tourists from around the world shouldn't see negativity for their effort, money, and attendance. those people should see how amazing vancouver is and how wonderful and warm and relaxed the people of british columbia are. i'm going to make the best of it and enjoy what it brings.
i've been spending lots more time with brian and that makes me really happy. it's in some way really fulfilling to know we have a really strong and special friendship.
i'm sad today that the chili peppers are no more.
i feel like my days are passing too fast with not enough to show for them. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| had a lovely, candlelit, nag champa scented bath tonight instead of working. drank soy chai yerba maté and listened to this.
she's one of my idols. so amazing. her music is close to sacred, to me, and deeply otherworldly, an aesthetic i hold close to my heart.
she makes me proud to be literate, a woman, fey, a musician, a writer, a poet, and canadian.
this is the year i learn guitar, and polish my vocals.
(if only so i can finally do a comic rendition of the mariner's revenge song in public).
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| | Current Music: | elliott smith - cecilia/amanda | | Time: | 02:11 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/melancholy.gif) melancholy |
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| 1. ow,
2. mmm,
3. sigh. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | thom yorke - and it rained all night (burial remix) | | Current Location: | beeeeddddd | | Subject: | click, click, clack | | Time: | 02:38 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/happy.gif) happy |
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| i really like smoking pot and exfoliating.
the reef, my new coworkers, and bartending are starting to get some major hearts. how'd i ever fool main street into thinking i was cool enough to be a pseudo-nerdster barista and bartender?
tomorrow DAY OFF WOO
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) kimlett i am looking forward to hopefully hanging out with you next week!
i feel the start of something fresh. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| some songs that have been floating through my head this week.
the mountain goats - this year they are all pathos, and driving chords, and strident voice, and the best lyrics of all time, ever. this song is all about continuing until you crash, burning scotch-laced lips and videogames and scraped knuckles and being young and kind of sucking but deserving to get through it anyway.
the eels - little bird i like this song. i like songs about loneliness, and longing, and this one is beautiful and sad and heartbreaking and twinkly. i like songs that hurt me but ever so gently, and they aren't really trying to, and they're sorry, and hurting, themselves.
ben sollee - panning for gold (computer vs. banjo remix) hearing this song reminds me of the chills i got hearing moby - porcelain on the radio when i was 17. this is a really interesting mix of soft synths and actual beats. the vocals aren't bad either. it's like a windy day seen from behind a window. it's a cityscape in the rain. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i am always tired these days. i've had about a week and a half of pms, as tends to happen, but i feel super spread-thin and ready for it to be over. by the time i get another day off it'll have been a full month without a day off of work. i mostly try to just get it over with and keep my nose to the grindstone, as salt spring is short staffed at the moment and there's nothing to be done about it, but... fuuuuuuck... my kingdom for a day of chill. i know there's probably more than a few people out there feeling socially neglected, but lately all i want to do when i'm not at work is curl up in my bed with my laptop, eat food, burn incense, drink tea, and read or watch cartoons or listen to music. and it's kinda all i have been doing. i know i need to be getting a bit more exercise, though, and i think once my hormones swing back around i'll be able to. right now, just... uuurrrgggh. it's raining a ton, so biking isn't really a desirable option. i was doing really well at the beginning of the season, but the constant rain kind of has me feeling a little s.a.d-ish. going tanning tonight and gonna buy vitamin d supplements to try and stave it off. i'm still drinking lots of water, though, back-pat.
jobs are going good. re-considering what i want to do re: school. maybe ubc in the fall? flip, flop, flip, flop, WHY YES I AM A LIBRA HOW DID YOU KNOW
a really cute boy asked me out over the dating website i am on. he seems really rad and cute and likes coffee and good music and cats, so i said yes. he was also the first person to straightup ask me out rather than sending me longwinded messages, which i suppose i wouldn't find charming if i didn't think he was cute. so, i guess i have a date sunday? also a certain gentleman may be visiting me again in december, which would be kinda awesome. i have been having a lot of repeat flirty encounters with cute main street boys. so i guess something is working for me right now.
i've been drawing a bit again. i feel like i've lost a lot of ease, but i think it'll come back. anyone who wants to pose for me is greatly encouraged to.
i have this playlist of MAD AWESOME songs for november. it's not totally done yet, but i think i will finally sign up with some kind of online storage shit and put it up for download once it's done. srsly. MAD AWESOME.
i really really really want to go raving. it's so super hard to feel like i can when i work the next day constantly. also i have some stupid student loan shit to pay off and am trying to get my birth certificate re-printed to i can get my enhanced id, so i'm super loathe to spend money on anything unnecessary. and there were a ton of rad shows this month already that i missed. however. RAVING. just throwing it out there. i feel like i have some stuff to release through the therapeutic power of interpretive dance! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| the wound on my elbow is almost healed. it's shiny and pink. there was this deep, weeping cut for so long, it's almost weird to not be watching what touches it.
my shoulder still hurts, though. i had to adjust how i wear my messenger bag and watch when i'm riding my bike. it makes these weird pops and cracks and sometimes feels like it's shifting in and out of the socket. my neck aches at the end of a barista shift at the reef.
is this what it feels like to get old? | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| i yelled too many things aloud
and felt cold, outside
i saw the first frost i've seen stiffening blades of grass
and drank too much with my friends.
more boys mention the fact i mention mario 3 in my dating profile than i am entirely comfortable with.
i love to knit. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| The half-built condos tower above us like foreboding monoliths of our yuppie futures. I take a look at one of the girls wearing a bright pink keffiyah and carrying a Polaroid camera and think, "If only we carried rocks instead of cameras, we'd look like revolutionaries." But instead we ignore the weapons that lie at our feet – oblivious to our own impending demise. We are a lost generation, desperately clinging to anything that feels real, but too afraid to become it ourselves. We are a defeated generation, resigned to the hypocrisy of those before us, who once sang songs of rebellion and now sell them back to us. We are the last generation, a culmination of all previous things, destroyed by the vapidity that surrounds us. The hipster represents the end of Western civilization – a culture so detached and disconnected that it has stopped giving birth to anything new. ((article here))
my arm/shoulder feels better. my back and shoulder were totally kinked the fuck up all weekend and i was starting to be really worried, like, what if i've fucked myself up badly and permanently? but my mobility and strength are steadily returning, though some things still feel funny. also the wound on my elbow is still totally pissed at me and how i keep accidentally re-opening it. it looks super gross but seems to heal faster if i leave it unbandaged, so, suck it up, customers. also i brought falcor home from serra's last night and can therefore BIKE AGAIN HUZZAH.
the steampunk symposium was super rad. lots and lots of eye-porn. that's like eye candy, but pornier. i feel that i looked passably authentic and was really inspired by the media and the fashion present. part of me wishes i had stayed later as i kind of ducked out earlier, but i was super wiped and it was packed and hot and not getting more exciting very quickly. ben had some art in the show, and some professional photographers took photos of serra and i, which hopefully we will have access to soon. the afternoon after we had kind of an impromptu potluck-brunch at our place and watched frisky dingo and played tetris attack... mmf.
i spent a really fun weekend with a really cute boy... so, i win. too bad he lives somewhere else.
still wrestling with school stuff ideas. and the big "What Do You Want To Do With Your Life (Which Is Becoming Increasingly Useless As You Continue Your Nondevelopment of a Career and Simultaneous Aging)" question. le blargh. however i did some rad art this week which is heartening. no matter how rad i make my life outside of work, it doesn't change the fact that my work is shit and my wages are shit and i need to get. on. this. fuck. bus.
great lake swimmers are coming back to vancouver. this makes me very happy as basically i melt whenever i am in tony dekker's presence. le sigh. oh, also, j. tillman, who is also the drummer for fleet foxes, has a show that my friend andy's band red cedar is opening for. all are amazing and everyone should come.
sleeptimes now. <3
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| autumn is slipping into winter, slowly, and for now, i am okay with it.
i've been running a bit the nights i'm not too tired and it's not sheeting rain down, and i love the evenings at this time of year the very best. everything is sepia-toned, from the leaves on the ground to the hard yellow glare of the streetlights. it's that time where the foliage isn't riotous with colour any longer, and it's very clear that nothing is alive, it's all fading. and i run and walk and breathe and listen to my friends' music, and it's really good. i listen to a lot of trip-hop and ambient music. this song has seeped its way back into all my playlists, staining experiences with old memories and feelings.
autumn also kind of lights a fire under me in regards to fashion, including other peoples'. i have some great ideas for steampunk-themed clothes and jewelery, and i love wearing knee socks and brooches and cosy cardigans, and seeing people walk down the street in awesome jackets and hats and nice boots. unf.
i feel like i've been taking really good care of myself, except for the crazy amount of working i've been doing. it should ease up soon and i asked my manager at saltspring not to double-book me on a couple of days so i would stop having to work 12-hour days. also, the reef has officially asked me to be the regular bartender on wednesdays and thursdays, so that's pretty rad! as for taking care of myself, i've been biking lots less as i need fenders for falcor and it's been really rainy lately. but i've been trying to run, and eat regularly instead of working until i'm not hungry any more, putting hemp hearts in my food, making myself healthy dinners, drinking lots of water, stretching out!! and not eating crap from either the reef or saltspring. some days i succeed better than others, but i feel pretty good, and i certainly look pretty awesome.
i joined a dating thing and a bunch of cute boys are hitting on me. this is nice. lots of them are hitting on me in real-life, too, now that i have cut my hair maybe?
also i am excited for my awesome costume. a piece i'd ordered from etsy finally came in today, the last day i could have received it before halloween! hooray. i have lots of work to do yet and i rather think i'm going to be outshone a bit by my sister costumer, but i love dressing up in cracktastic ways. i would wear the things i am going to wear every day if i could get away with it. can i please serve espresso in lace garters, kthxbai.
ok. back to work. my lesson of the week is to stop saying yes to everything everybody asks of me. because i end up exhausted in bed every night, unable to do anything. ASK OTHER PEOPLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR OWN SHIT MORE, CAYLEY JANE. DON'T SHOULDER IT ALL.
also do your crafting, and clean your room.
happy all hallows, loves. remember: pics or it didn't happen.
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| quick entry cause i gots to go pwnicorn creation shopping.
boys are dumb, the end, kthxbai.
i like having friends.
coffee is awesome, awesome, awesome.
i look prettier during fall than any other season. i don't know why, it just works that way. everyone fall in love with me quick before winter comes and it's uggo time again.
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| yesterday, elliott brood at the biltmore, wherein i banged a wooden spoon against a tin lid along to the beat and a bunch of bearded dudes in plaid with banjos cavorted onstage. decidedly felt like i should have been drinking whiskey but am too brokety-broke. however, my room is so so so so clean and lovely and organized and there are candles and crystals and books and art everywhere.
tonight, joey comeau (untoward ) of a softer world hits main street, and i forgo underwear. also i burned a stir fry but crunchy pasta and broccoli turned out strangely delicious.
does anyone else find that orgasms get easier to have and way awesomer as they get older? seriously. reasons i am okay that i am 24 now.
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| i love the SOUND of this band so much, and this is the official version of a song i loved the live demo version of. there's great strident vocals and powerful driving organ and some very emphatic percussion. it's basically perfect to listen to autumn creep in and all hallows' inch closer to, and you should probably go to here where you can listen and download it and then you should probably come to see them when they come to vancouver with me. and we should probably wear sheets with eye holes cut out.
this song also reminds me a lot of this song/video, which i kind of listen to like it's going out of style at this time of year. if you haven't seen it, do yourself a favour and crack open some halloween candy early and sit down for six minutes. it's hilarious and weird and a parody that nevertheless manages to be a bit creepy, and it features win butler, peaches, narduwar, leslie feist, karen o, dan boeckner, spencer krug & david cross (<3) among others. so much good.
my birthday was really awesome. i worked early, and heidi gave me all the tips from the morning, then i cleaned house like mad and dingo came and took me out to get a burrito and fed me beer and we biked around east van and i drank a bunch of energy dranks. then so many people came to my house. we played nintendo and spun some records and et gigantic jello shooters and got drunk and watched frisky dingo and flailed and who knew i knew so many dudes? too many dicks on the dancefloor! my tiny little suite was so totally packed. people gave me lovely homemade/not homemade gifts and got me drunk. and ericstaal brought 1up mushroom cupcakes. then many of us biked down to the woods and got all high and danced and it wasn't all that crowded which was actually pretty nice. everyone sung happy birthday to me at 2 am outside of the warehouse, and dave king gave me a rad shout out in the middle of his set, and i made out lots with cute café boy and serratonin, and basically flailed and was at my most irresistible. pretty much the best birthday eva.
not much else besides that. i want to get my halloween costume together but am. so. broke. this month. not even funny. le blargh. ditto with stuff for the steampunk convention. crafting ahoy i suppose.
today it is grey and i've had a couple of unfortunate things happen so far, but i am listening to cloud cult and planning on going to do yoga and going for a run and trying to keep my ravaged levels of seretonin from bringing me down. yay fall. <3
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| ( autumn sway. )
today lolo told me the reef never hires anyone without six years of serving experience and that i would do well there because i was a really hard worker. and everyone at salt spring has said the same. and. i just. feel good about myself. and pretty and useful and not an asshole. and i've applied for my program, and the only boss i can expect to like me likes me, and maybe a boy likes me too? and i love my friends and oh it's AUTUMN and i can talk about how long i've been single without feeling bad about it and smile in the rain. today i have amethyst emblazoned on my breast and bare shoulders and a quirk in my eyebrow and am more than a little in love with the world. today i came home to a house i cleaned and a beautiful tree and a serratonin on my couch and am cleaning my room and missing my cat and feeling pretty great.
you should probably come to my house on saturday. | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
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in no particular order.
- cute cute boy at my work who flirts voraciously with me and came into my other work to visit me while i was on shift there. and is going to come to my birthday.
- the fact that this saturday a TON of rad people are going to come to the estrogen loft and get drunk/whatever and then we're all going to go rave our faces off to lwsd and just yay.
- i am continuing to eat pretty healthy even when faced with lots of cafe food (although am drinking way more espresso admittedly).
- nina and trevor are moving out (not a favorite) but are perma-lending us an awesome old record player/speakers/cabinet and gave us a big tree that makes the apartment feel like lothlorien.
- FALCOR I <3 YOU OH SO GODDAMN MUCH
- steampunk.
- boys who love their cats and are way too cute with them and tug my feline-loving heartstrings.
- way too much cheap sushi.
- my favorite saltspring regular of all time, a cute almost-hip dad who i talk about radiohead and webcomics with, was absolutely delighted to see me behind the counter yesterday. his eyes completely lit up and he told me his wife and he were so sad when ty and i stopped working at saltspring and that he would come in more now that i was back. and he was wearing a dinosaur comics tshirt. <3 OH HIP DAD WHY ARE YOU ALREADY MARRIED AND CANNOT BE MY BOYFRIEND.
- i got a card from my stepmom and dad today, and my dad had written: Hi Cayley, you are without doubt the loveliest and brightest star in my life. I hope you have a great birthday. Best wishes and all my love. i teared up. my relationship with my dad has been in the past fractious at best and to hear such wonderful things from him is really touching.
- GIRLBALLING.
- getting to look really cute and sass people from behind a counter again. OH SASSY BARISTAISM, HOW I HAVE MISSED THEE.
- bassnectar's new album. holy shit. i like him, but i'm not one of those people who are all "OH GOD SHAMBHALA LORD LORIN LET ME COVER THAT MUD WITH MY BODY DON'T SOIL YOURSELF" but this album is really fucking enjoyable so far.
- it is fall! and it is cold and i can wear sweaters and leggings and mittens and look freaking adorable in argyle shrugs and plaid scarves and OH GOD FALL I LOVE YOU.
<3 <3 loveliness for your day, beauties.
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| this week is the insane week of trying to schedule three jobs around each other. acccckkkk.
i think i may still come out of it with less money than i'd like, but... i'll scrounge. i dunno. i'm not going to take the data entry job. i talked to tamara at the reef today and she wants to give me a couple more shifts, it's just a matter of me getting trained and comfortable and solid. i'm not a solid server/bartender yet by any means and i'm ok with putting my dues in and hopefully reaping rewards later. the afternoon barista is leaving in a month and a bit and one of the servers at the end of december and at that point i could be getting full-time, so... so. i just gotta make it work for a little while. maybe pick up more shifts at saltspring. where, wuh-ohes, i totally have a crush on one of my coworkers. who is younger, has a razor wit, and kind of looks like john krasinski. ummmmm.
it's nice to have a crush, though! the last time i liked anyone was chad and that's like... so fucking complicated, and i've spent way too much time on it, and kind of just... ughhhhhh. anyway it's good to have some new energy in my life that way. i'm kind of just enjoying the flirting.
otherwise all the job stuff is going well. my mom's coming in to town tomorrow, and the house is almost clean. i have a new bike on hold for me at the bike doctor. i'm gonna call him falcor. (mine is white that somehow the webpage doesn't display as an option. i want to make him a sparkly fun fur cozy and ride around like a big nerd looking for the childlike empress.) then i can finally bike/go seaballin again.
final fantasy tomorrow, and i am transcendently excited.
i missed you, espresso machine. didn't miss you, shitty café work. kind of enjoying rocking the reef. cleaning my room. getting my life in order. applied for school.
better go to work. supposed to be painting today. (putting it off? me? no)
joey comeau is reading in my town soon. i am excited. i am also excited that autumn is here. i need new mittens, and sweaters, and some clothes to serve in, and probably shoes to serve in cause my flats hurt my feet, and oh god maybe i should do my taxes for the return
hope everyone's life is going wonderfully today!
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| i am le tired today. not quite ready to fire ze missiles.
i had a trial shift at the reef last night after painting. hrrrm. long day, hard work, work today. i hope i get to bartend there. if only that all the main street pretty hipster boys come in to drink in droves and i will sassify them. it seems like it will be hard work but fun and hopefully monetarily rewarding, if tips are good. i am manifesting something close to full-time there.
i want to go see múm, and dead man's bones. you should come with me. here are reasons you should do this:
i especially love the animation in the múm video. it's not actually my favorite song of theirs, but it's definitely indicative of their style.
i have Things to Do. these things involve getting off my bed, putting on a cute dress, buying gin and drinking it in the park with pretty girls while i knit and/or sketch. maybe i'll bring my flute. life shouldn't be this hard.
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| sooooo... steampunk.
it's a melding of styles that play into stuff i've ALWAYS loved. i've loved victorian fashion for EVER, with the giant bustles and dresses and huge sleeves and lace and ankle boots and high collars and lots of buttony detailing and CORSETS and basically EVERYTHING ABOUT victorian men's fashion is so hot. seeing it melded with alternative universe brassy, cogs-and-clockwork sci fi? UM YES PLEASE. lately i've been really trolling the internets for stuff related, and i have to share some picspam. i srsly wish i was making more $$, cause this stuff is crazy expensive, but honestly? i'm a crafter. i gotta start DOIN SHIZ MASELF.
halloween costume plan: serra & i as pwnicorns. me=steampunk & white, she=cyberpunk and black. so far i have it planned out with an american apparel white booty-short bodysuit, garters + lacy stockings, fluffy white legwarmers over that and silver flats. gonna craft a sparkly silver unicorn horn, and my hair goes HUGE so i'll do some sort of mane-y thing with it. probably plus lots of giant white feathers and ribbon. i'm hoping to get/make some white lacy armwarmers, and then i'm kind of at a loss for jewelery/accessories. i do have a rad brass-detailed bag-belt from jungle tribe, but it's not white by any means. i'm thinking i might try and get some goggles (fetish store dtown has some for $50) and maybe try and grab some cogs/clockwork and sew it onto a white choker. i'm sure i'll come up with inspiration before the time comes. basically it makes me want to hump my own leg, though.
i've never really been tempted to cosplay before besides a little flirtation with the sca and dylan wolanowski's crew in terrace when i was, oh, sixteen. but this shit seriously makes me wanna create some outfits and hit a convention or two. and honestly? I COULD ROCK THIS STUFF SO HARD. it's totally my style and would absolutely flatter me. part of my regular wardrobe could already be worked in, and i think i'm going to start streamlining the regular clothes i buy towards this style, anyway. i have a sweet radio clothing top on hold at life of riley that would absolutely work.
also, tonight=d&ballnight. and i am sosoready to dance.
( prepare to hump your computer screen ) | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
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unicorn poo
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jealous